In case ANYONE was wondering, I did try to contact the guy that I have a crush on. But I was such a chicken, I waited until I knew he would be working and tried to call him then, knowing that he would not be able to answer the phone and I could leave a message being breezy and light, making him think I am adorable and not a huge dork as I stumble over my words trying to talk to him.
I don't understand why I am this way. I can talk to ALL of the guys that are my friends, no matter how long it has been. So why does this ONE man have me tripping over my words, blushing, and stuttering like a twittered school girl? Maybe because I am acting like one...
He has me completely... I don't know how to describe it. It's like I want to get to know him, but I don't know how and can't open my mouth with him. I want to see him, but I am terrified that he will think I am too forward. I am not waiting around for him to be available to see me, but I also am not trying to go out of my way to meet other people. I see guys that are cute at church, but I won't go up and talk to them because I get too shy.
Sometimes I think it would be better if I was able to just go up to him, grab him and just kiss him. That way I can say "Now that we have gotten that over with, let's talk" and have nothing really awkward between us. But that may be an awkward thing to do in the first place, since I don't know if that would be a good or bad thing..... Oh gosh I am just going nuts. I don't know what is wrong with me.
