Lately, things have seemed to implode. I don't exactly know what happened, or why it happened, but a friend of mine who I think of almost like an uncle got upset with me. I made a small comment about something we do on the weekend, and he just exploded. I am honestly very hurt, and I don't know what I did to set him off. He is suddenly not talking to us, and he is suddenly being very upset with me.
I will admit, that I am done. I am done with divas, done with egos, and done with puffed up peacocks. When someone gets their panties in a wad, they don't see how much they hurt others. They don't see that I am the one who is sitting here, wondering how I could have made this person I care about turn on me. They don't see how I am sitting here, happy for my friends that are moving on with their lives and still feeling as stuck as ever. They don't see how I am trying desperately to not cry, and to not take my frustration out on others as I sit and wonder why I am the one that has to be attacked.
I am tired of feeling like I have to be the strong one. I have to be the bigger person. I have to be the one to let go of everything and I have to be the one to turn the other cheek. Well, right now I want to scream, stamp my foot, and demand that everyone stop being children and start acting their age. I am at that point that I want to act like the toddler, I want to throw a temper tantrum, and I want to scream how life isn't fair. Than I want to sit down with 2 pounds of See's Candy and just drown my sorrows.
But I won't. I won't drown my sorrows in chocolate. I won't throw a fit, and I won't be a toddler. I will be the adult that I was raised to be, and I will ignore everyone who isn't being kind to me. My heart may be hurting inside, but I am not going to hold my breath that anyone is going to apologize or see just how much they hurt me.
Why am I the designated whipping girl? Why am I the door mat, the punching bag, or the scape goat? I am SO Over it. So anyone wants to come and try to attack me again, watch out. I will be holding a bazooka because I am over this crap, and I will unload a holy heck of a lot of pent up rage if someone comes after me in the next few days....
So this is what has been going on with me over the last 24 hours... I hope the rest of you are doing better.
