Today was kind of hard to be honest. For some reason, I just wanted to keep eating today. I wanted to eat more Oreo's than I should. I wanted to eat more candy than I should. I wanted to just keep eating. I wasn't satisfied, but I wasn't hungry. I had the desire to just keep going, and I hate it. I hate that I have that fat person still inside me, whispering that the amount I am eating isn't enough. I hate that it's still telling me to eat more, and to blow off all this hard work that I had done to this point.
I will continue to fight that desire, and that urge. But I don't want to keep fighting this urge, I need to figure out how to stop it. There is something that is triggering that desire, and I need to figure out what it is. I know I crave Chocolate at certain times, and I know that I can sometimes crave the motion of eating. That's where gum really comes in handy. However, I also know that I don't need to eat everything I can get my hands on. I need to control my emotions, and to keep myself from destroying myself.
I did eat, and I did stop myself. I didn't eat more Oreo's than I should, but I did have 1 more than I should. I had 2 servings of Mini Chewy Sweettarts, and I had gum. Lots of gum. I stopped myself before I was too bad, but it was HARD. Insanely hard. And I hope to keep my resolve strong.
