I AM HOME!!! I know that I have lived in Utah for 7 years and that was technically home, but I feel complete. I feel like everything I was missing is coming together now. I feel like I am going to be able to move forward now, since I feel like I have been stuck for so long. I am having difficulties right now with my job, and the "sure thing" that it was to transfer down here, but I don't care.
I feel like I am biding my time and that there is something that is going to change my life forever. I can't explain why it is, or what it is. I am not looking for anyone or anything. I am not praying that I am going to find someone or something. I am done looking. I can't handle it anymore. I am so tired of the rejection, the pain, and the hassle. The constant wondering. The worry. What good does all that accomplish?
We need to be able to be happy, so I started to be happy when I got back to California. It's absolutely amazing how all the stress will just melt away and how all you are left with is an amazing calm and absolute joy that comes from just letting go. I let go of all the stuff I couldn't control. AMAZING!! It feels so good.
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