Tonight and TIRED

Funny things come out when you are tired. Like the following:

1) I am really tired of working, and want to just do nothing.
2) I really like working, but I hate the money that is needed.
3) I like money, I hate that we need it to survive! That's what I hate!!
4) I get really funny when I am tired, and nothing makes sense.
5) I don't like not getting what I want. It makes me annoyed.
6) I am not such a pleasant person to be around when I am annoyed.
7) I have to be patient, maybe that's why I am not getting what I want.
8) I like the color blue.
9) Wow, that was random.
10) My feet are big, maybe that helps me to not fall over.
11) I don't breathe very loudly at all!!
12) Why am I thinking about my breathing?
13) The dogs are loud. Why isn't there a mute button for animals at night?
14) They should make a mute button, or better.. A universal remote. Like in Click.
15) No wait, that's not such a good idea...
16) I don't like to watch the news, it's depressing.
17) I should PROBABLY stop fighting my eyes from closing.
18) If I'm sleeping, I can't type. That may be good.
19) I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!
20) Clothes are weird, who came up with them? Oh ya! God in the garden of Eden.
21) Boys are really cute, but MEN are hot!!
22) I am going to stop while I am behind.
23) Last, looking for the sign up for the single return missionaries who are not afraid of commitment, a strong willed woman with a mind of her own, a heart of gold, cuddly, and a push over until you push the wrong button. Than watch out. Hey, I did say I was a woman right?

I really am going to go to bed, but I will say this.

I am glad I am me. No matter what I have to go through, no matter how much I hate that I don't have a family of my own and that I am excited to further my career.... I am happy that I am who I am. I am a powerful, strong, and independent woman. I have a mind of my own, and I am not afraid to stand up for what I see is right. I am grateful for the family that I have, as they are my rock and anchor. I am grateful for the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints, it really has molded me into whom I am. I am also grateful to not be shiftless in this life, looking for my purpose.

I am grateful that I am fluffy. Full Figured. Extra squishy. Whatever you want to call it. It made me realize that while I may not look like a skinny super model, and there are things I don't like about myself (trust me, I can list off a WHOLE bunch of things) this life is much too short to agonize over if I am a size 2 or a 20. I would rather live my life with no regrets and be whom I am than worry about what some Joe down the street thinks about me. The Lord is the only one that matters. Someday someone else will see that too, and we will be best friends for that reason. And someday we will be more than best friends.

But for now... I am happy and not waiting. I am working and working on furthering my career. I am going to go into a field that fascinates me and see if I can do that with a family. Everything I do is centered on having a family someday, and that makes me happy. I want to be able to hold my head up high and be proud of who I am and what I have done with my life.

And so far.... I can do that.