Things aren't what you expected. EVER.

So I was able to take a week off work and go to Utah, WAHOO!! I haven't been there since I moved away, and some things didn't end as well as I would have liked to before I left. I was happy to try to mend some bridges, calm some people and just have fun. But things can't go like that at all can they?

I didn't have a car, and I REALLY wanted to see some people. So my BFF Kristi went ahead and helped me out. That did end up making things kind of awkward as some of the people I wanted to see were people she either didn't know, didn't like, or didn't want to see. Or all the above. We ended up spending almost every minute together, not what I had pictured of my vacation. It was great, I enjoyed seeing her but I wasn't expecting so much together time.

I did have some music on a friends computer, and wanted to get it off, but REALLY wanted to see her and see how she was doing. Things didn't end as good as I would have liked them to, and I hoped we could put it all behind us. I thought we had, and she was distracted as was I by trying to make sure my friend was all right, not too bored, trying to find "safe" topics of conversation we could all follow on. It actually turned out to be a very bad visit. It took almost the whole time there with me on her computer, eventually transfering everything to my iPod and worrying about it later. I did NOT want her to think I only came for her music, that was NOT my intention. Unfortunately it ended up being just that. She was upset, rightly so. And she was busy with her job and family and I felt like I was just in the way. So it wasn't what I expected.

Then today, I go to work, and have 7 massages to have to do. That's a lot by anyone's standards. I did them all, felt good about my work, and came home. Then I get a text from my boss that she just spent 45 minutes listening to someone complain about my massage. My last client, whom I busted my butt on. I listened to what she wanted, asked for feedback on the massage, and she seemed to fall asleep. She ended up reaming me to my boss about stuff that she NEVER TOLD ME to concentrate on. SO my boss is giving her to someone else to work on the next time we are open, and just wanted to let me know so we could talk about it on Tuesday.

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!! You feel like you're in a principals office while they try to tell you how to do your job, when you are trained and qualified. And, oh ya, they HIRED you to do this job. Not everyone will like you. Not everyone will like your massage. That's expected. But because she is newly rich, she is freaked out that she may tell all her new rich friends like her all about this, and she is desperate to keep them all happy.

I don't care if you are rich or poor, white or black, male or female, high political ties in the community or a regular joe. I treat every single client the same. I don't kiss feet, I don't shine shoes, and I DON'T bow down because someone complains. If they have something to say, say it to my face. Don't wait until you are SURE I am gone, and then talk to my boss. I am the one that should know if you have a problem so I can work on it, not have to be scolded by someone who is NOT my parent. It really annoys me, can you tell?

SO after all this goes down, I get an e-mail dredging up things in the past, and a plea that we can work through it and renew a friendship. I was in shock. I didn't think our friendship was in jeopardy. Of course we had ups and downs, but so does everyone. Things ended badly, yes. But I had tried to make it for the best, and yes it is still hard to look this person in the eye and know what to talk to them about. Our lives are completely different. We are on different paths. It's like a panther asking a deer about their life. Completely different animals, situations, etc.

So all this comes at the end of a VERY long week and I have to ask that if ANYONE else feels jilted, hurt, betrayed, annoyed, angry, or anything else please put it in your back pocket and wait a while before you ask me to "work through it" because I have stuff to work through right now that may take a while. Like recovering from the shocking blows that were just landed tonight by my boss and by a friend.

Hopefully this too shall pass quickly. I can't do this much longer. I can't worry that anything I do or say is going to end up causing a fight, or by massaging someone and NOT reading their mind that I may be in jeopardy of having to PAY for the massage I just gave because the client was not happy. The life of a spa sucks. Never work in one if you can help it.