Another week... Here we go.

Another week has started, and I don't know how much work I am going to have. Again. I get really tired of not knowing how much I will be working or if I will be working at all. I WOULD LOVE to have a set schedule. I would love to be able to say "Yes, I am working these days and these times." But right now that is not my life. My life is an On Call life. They call me when they need me to work. I go in when they ask. I get tired of it.

I have 3 jobs, all which have me on call. The Day Spa has been wonderful. They have been getting me in and getting me working. Lane Bryant, not so wonderful. I am working ON CALL this week, meaning that I may be working 2 days, but I may not. I am starting at the School district soon, which is the 3rd job. Not the easiest thing in the world, but it's money and that's something I need. I need to be able to make bills and not feel so worried about if there is enough to pay the bill, gas, and tithing. Tithing comes out first, and it worries me that I will have enough for the rest of the stuff that I have to pay.

The solution to that? Pay off what bills I can, get in school so the student loans are on hold again, and as soon as I can, get the cards paid off and CLOSED!! I only have 1 card I am paying on, so that's not so bad. This is why I don't own a credit card! I only want to have bills that are ESSENTIAL to living, like a car, insurance, and school. And a cell phone. VERY essential!!

My life won't always be so up in the air, and I am looking forward to the time when I can hold my head up, being debt free, and stable. I will get there, it is just going to take a bit.

Tonight and TIRED

Funny things come out when you are tired. Like the following:

1) I am really tired of working, and want to just do nothing.
2) I really like working, but I hate the money that is needed.
3) I like money, I hate that we need it to survive! That's what I hate!!
4) I get really funny when I am tired, and nothing makes sense.
5) I don't like not getting what I want. It makes me annoyed.
6) I am not such a pleasant person to be around when I am annoyed.
7) I have to be patient, maybe that's why I am not getting what I want.
8) I like the color blue.
9) Wow, that was random.
10) My feet are big, maybe that helps me to not fall over.
11) I don't breathe very loudly at all!!
12) Why am I thinking about my breathing?
13) The dogs are loud. Why isn't there a mute button for animals at night?
14) They should make a mute button, or better.. A universal remote. Like in Click.
15) No wait, that's not such a good idea...
16) I don't like to watch the news, it's depressing.
17) I should PROBABLY stop fighting my eyes from closing.
18) If I'm sleeping, I can't type. That may be good.
19) I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!
20) Clothes are weird, who came up with them? Oh ya! God in the garden of Eden.
21) Boys are really cute, but MEN are hot!!
22) I am going to stop while I am behind.
23) Last, looking for the sign up for the single return missionaries who are not afraid of commitment, a strong willed woman with a mind of her own, a heart of gold, cuddly, and a push over until you push the wrong button. Than watch out. Hey, I did say I was a woman right?

I really am going to go to bed, but I will say this.

I am glad I am me. No matter what I have to go through, no matter how much I hate that I don't have a family of my own and that I am excited to further my career.... I am happy that I am who I am. I am a powerful, strong, and independent woman. I have a mind of my own, and I am not afraid to stand up for what I see is right. I am grateful for the family that I have, as they are my rock and anchor. I am grateful for the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints, it really has molded me into whom I am. I am also grateful to not be shiftless in this life, looking for my purpose.

I am grateful that I am fluffy. Full Figured. Extra squishy. Whatever you want to call it. It made me realize that while I may not look like a skinny super model, and there are things I don't like about myself (trust me, I can list off a WHOLE bunch of things) this life is much too short to agonize over if I am a size 2 or a 20. I would rather live my life with no regrets and be whom I am than worry about what some Joe down the street thinks about me. The Lord is the only one that matters. Someday someone else will see that too, and we will be best friends for that reason. And someday we will be more than best friends.

But for now... I am happy and not waiting. I am working and working on furthering my career. I am going to go into a field that fascinates me and see if I can do that with a family. Everything I do is centered on having a family someday, and that makes me happy. I want to be able to hold my head up high and be proud of who I am and what I have done with my life.

And so far.... I can do that.

Money is such a pain.

I know that I am not doing as well as I would LIKE to be doing, but when something comes up out of the blue it really puts more stress on you. Like your car payment being in the MIDDLE of the month instead of the end of the month. As well as your insurance. And just worrying sucks.

I had to vent a little bit. I know I have money coming in, it's just not fast enough it feels like, and I REALLY don't need to have anything else happen more than it already is. Hmm... reason enough to go back to school. To get my student loans on hold, and hopefully get some grants.

My BABY!!!

MY NEW CAR!!!!

I just wanted to show off my baby, since no one can really see her in UTAH....

I got it....

I guess it's really not a surprise to some people, but I got the job I interviewed for. I had to be up at 6:30 this morning to get ready for the appointment at 8, but I performed beautifully so they offered me the job, and would like me to continue with more training in HOT STONE and Aromatherapy, both which interest me incredibly! I really want to get into wraps more, and learn more techniques.

I am very excited to start, because I do need the money now. It's kinda bad. Oh well, such is life. And moving.

In case anyone is wondering, I DO NOT regret the decision to come here. I am enjoying it, it is a challenge as I knew it would be. But I don't regret one minute of it. It's what was right for me to do. It's what I need to do. It's what is making me a better person. And I am glad for that.

I miss my friends in Utah, kind of feeling out of place out here with all these young kids. Not a lot of dating opportunities, but I am not really putting myself out there like I should because I don't have the gas money to do it. It's work, and home until things start to become more stable. And church. Can't forget that. That's one of the most important places I go during the week. Assuming that I am not needed at work... blah!! But it's money....

As things start to even out, they will get better for everyone, and I will feel less... stagnant. I will be happy to make more money, and I will be more than happy to make more friends. I don't like being a hermit, so I am trying to stop that right now. Don't know how long this will last, but I think it's a step in the right direction.

Job Interview

So I am finally going in for a massage interview today. I don't know WHY I waited so long, but I am going to do it. It was mostly waiting for them to contact me back about when works for them, and having my schedule free to do it.

The depressing thing is that I have to give a massage for the practical part of the interview. That's common, but it's not one I get paid for. So I get to spend an hour, performing the magic that my hands do with the muscles, and PRAY that I get the job.

I do hope to get it. I just am worried about the fact they serve wine there, since you can't massage anyone whom is drunk, or had a drink. It speeds up the blood and makes them twice as drunk. Same reason you stay away from a hot tub when you drink, the blood speeds up and you are 2x as drunk as when you got in. (Thank goodness for school telling me this, because I wouldn't know otherwise!!!)

Oh well, not my body. I would just be working on the clients. :) That's not a bad prospect......

A whole new look

I got tired of how the colors looked, so why not change it up? I thought it would be great to make something feminine and cute, and me. YAY!!