So it's done!

I am officially licensed for the City. I have my license being mailed to my house, and then I can start going Full Time at my job! Horray! I still have to talk to my boss and hammer out schedules and when it's all going to start taking off.

Just had to share my good news! Will share more when more comes up!

SO exhasted.

So I feel like I just ran a marathon for 3 days straight. I Had to work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at the Spa. We were running our Valentines Package, and it was a ZOO!! I had 7 massages on Friday, 5 Saturday, and 7 on Sunday, plus getting robes, food, and escorting people to where they need to be. Something the MANAGER should have been doing.... But we will touch on that later.

I know, you are probably thinking "What's so tiring about massages?" Well, nothing unless you are the one giving them. And think about this for a minute... They weren't all just soft, Swedish massages. I had to do Deep Tissue, I had to do Stone, Aromatherapy, Medley (which mixes all of them together) and I had to do Trigger Point Therapy, with some Acupressure mixed in. I know, that's all Greek. But just think about being a Disneyland, where all you do is walk around. You can't sit down, can't take a break, don't have time to eat, and you can't get a drink of water because there is too much to do. And when you DO get a break, it's for maybe 5 minutes while someone does something you need them to do before you take them where they need to be. So you drink as much as you can, eat what you can, and run again.

My arms feel like they should be rubber. My legs and lower back are screaming at me each time I try to move. The BEST part about the whole thing was the chair I used for the feet massage and the neck. It wouldn't adjust, so it was all the way up extended for the seat, and when you sit on it, it sinks down so you are all the way at the bottom where it is for SHORT people. So, you have to use your quads and hamstrings to stop it from sinking so fast it pops and makes your client wonder what you are going to use to beat them with... (Kidding. I only beat a client in Deep Tissue, and that's with Elbows.... THEY LOVE IT!) as you are trying to be relaxing and not too stressed with the massage.

So I just stood up, ya... Don't know if I will be doing a lot of that today. But for some reason, I need to go out and get some bills paid before the craziness that is this job takes over again. Serious cricks in the neck and shoulders... Sounds like this massage Therapist can use a massage.

So when you are getting upset, thinking everything is just too hard, just think of this.... You could be me this weekend. Nightmare doesn't begin to describe what it was. But my checkbook is grateful for the work. Just please, let's not cram 2 weeks worth of work into 3 days again.

So excited!

So many good things are happening to my friends that I am so happy for them. Two friends of mine who have been together for a while as friends just got engaged, and it's about time!! They seriously didn't surprise anyone but it was just good to know that this happened for them.

But I am ALSO SO EXCITED because my sister has gotten me into Digital Candy, and I am now a digital scrapbook designer. I will have a new blog for it, and it won't be linked to my personal blog for obvious reasons, but I will allow you to access it from here. I even have a designer name!

Sunshiny Daze Designs

Isn't that just PERFECT!?!? Since everyone in Utah knew me as Sunshine for about 7 years, it seemed natural for that to be the name. And I put everyone in a daze... Laughs. Maybe not everyone....

But my sister being the absolutely WONDERFUL woman and designer that she is also made me a logo and everything! Check it out!!!!

I am SO giddy! It's SO Cute!!! She sat down and designed this for me last night, and this all has come together so quickly I am still kind of amazed by it! BUT.... You will need to check in a few days because my part will be posted, it will be a freebie. And I will be designing... How nuts is that?!? I am going to be a designer! Not that I plan to be a good one like my sister is for a while, but it still is a step in the right direction.

SO... If anyone has any ideas for what they would like in a Scrapbook kit, PLEASE let me know. I am still trying to figure out what to do to finish the one I am working on. But please let me know if you want something made, have any ideas, or anything. I am SO excited. Everything seems to be coming together pretty quickly and smoothly.

I HAVE A HOBBY!! YAY!!! Laughs. I am going to go so I can finish my kit, but I had to share my excitement! Look for my blog in a few days, gotta get some stuff decided... Like what to do for the background, and to get some pages designed with my elements and stuff... It is still blowing my mind. Wow. My sister is amazing to help me with this.

Valentines day

With Valentines Day coming closer and closer, it really makes me stop and think about what I have and don't have in my life. I have a wonderful family whom I love and adore. I have wonderful friends who make my life better by being a part of it.

I can sit here and mope and complain about how there is no one special in my life, and about how much Valentines Day makes me realize just how single I am. Trust me, I SO could do that. I have done that for about 7 years as I lived in Utah, but that was because I was truly alone.

I didn't have my family around, my friends would all have dates, and I would have to spend the day as a scrooge. I absolutely HATED Valentines day. I would boycott it and watch movies where one or both of the people in it died and there wasn't a happy ending. And I would LAUGH at them. I was really bad! I called it the Singles Awareness Day because it made me aware JUST how single I was.

The last year was bad because one of my best friends (whom I was living with at the time) had just broken up with her fiance like 5 days before Valentines Day. Then, 3 days later, she was dating someone else. He brought her cards proclaiming love for her, flowers, chocolate covered strawberries, and would be all lovey dovey mushy gross, after knowing her for 2 days!!! 2 DAYS!!!! COME ON!!! I don't personally think that's enough time to get to know someone, you need more than that to know if you truly love them or just lust them.... But that's not the point.
It was very hard for me, seeing what I wanted so badly and not having it.

So I ran away. Literally. I went to a friends house, and didn't come home until they were gone. I left before they got back and went to someone elses house and spent the night there. I had a night planned to watch movies with my friend, have sparkling cider and toast being single. That didn't work out, so I did it by myself. (I am not telling you this for you to feel sorry for me, I am just explaining part of why I hated the holiday so much.) I had to endure the kissing in the kitchen, being trapped in the bedroom because it was more of a studio layout, but there was a separate kitchen, bathroom, living room, and bedroom. It was just one straight shot, and you couldn't get out of there unless you were in the living room.

So when she got married to him 6 weeks later, it was a shock. But it made her happy, and it allowed me to not worry so much for her. But by that time, I was completely done with all of it. The whole Valentines stuff was wasted on me. I don't like it at all, and that completely cemented it for me.

I watched my friend whom was single for 3 days before guys were banging down her door to date her. She has been through 3 other engagements before she eloped with her husband. She finally found the right one, and I am happy for her.

It's just hard for someone when they have had no serious relationships to watch someone throw them away and pick up another one like I would pick up a movie at the video store. It makes you sit and wonder what it is about you that kept you single for so long, and is keeping you single.
It makes you question if it is something physical you are doing, like you are not pretty enough, or if it is just your size, which you have struggled with loving your whole life and can't seem to get down.

It seemed like about the time I loved myself, really truly loved myself, I had to go through this whole fiasco. I was glad to be single at the time, I was grateful to have time for myself, and not have to worry about what someone else was doing. And then everything I wanted SO desperately was shoved in my face and I could see it but I couldn't have it.

So I am grateful this Valentines day to be living with my sister and her family. While I may be single, I will not be alone. I have 3 little kids whom I love and I know love me in return. I have a sister and brother-in-law whom are wonderful. I have my mother, father, and brothers here. While I may not have a huge circle of friends, I do have loyal friends. That's what matters to me. While some friends may be states away, they are close in my heart.

Valentines Day can come, I don't care. I get to work all day, and come home and enjoy what it should be all about. Unconditional love. And I don't need a boyfriend for that right now. I have my family. That makes me content. (But if you know anyone whom is looking..... Hook a sister up!!! :D)

25 random facts about me.

1. I can listen to a song about 4 times and have it memorized, if I listen to the lyrics. It's really annoying, because sometimes I hear a song ONCE and if I REALLY don't want to have it memorized, it is in my head for good.

2. I hate to move. I have moved a lot, and I absolutely hate it.

3. I am terrified of falling from Heights. I won't go up ladders, I won't stand too close to the edge of anything.

4. I have an overactive imagination that drives me crazy. I can't go out to the car at night without worrying about something getting me.

5. I would LOVE to have a family of my own, despite living with 3 kids under 5. My sister is a angel to let me move in with her.

6. I have to eat candy in 2's. Like skittles, M&M's, etc.

7. I hate raisins!!!

8. I don't like to drive. At all. I am terrified of getting into an accident.

9. I don't pay full price for anything. I will ONLY buy it on sale.

10. I absolutely love Teen Pop music. You don't really have to worry about the lyrics, they don't curse.

11. I am very shy lately. I push myself to be extroverted all the time and it's driving me bonkers.

12. I almost served a mission for my church, the papers were returned. It was difficult, but it was important.

13. I am a severe pyromaniac. I absolutely am hypnotized by fire, but I would never set them.

14. I absolutely love flowers. Almost all types. Roses are my favorite, then Gardenias, daisies of ALL Types, and daffodils.

15. I am allergic to a ton of stuff. Medications, Echinacia, Golden Root, even Grass when it's fresh cut and clay mud.

16. I absolutely love to watch Music Videos. I need to see the story behind the song or I don't like the song.

17. I don't like to sing where people can hear me. I try to sing quietly in Church.

18. I am addicted to movies.

19. I absolutely LOVE the stars. My dream date is stargazing, in the summer, where it's completely dark around so you can see for miles and miles with a blanket to lay on and wonderful conversation.

20. I have never traveled outside the United States.

21. I have only traveled through 9 states that I can remember.

22. I am really thoughtful, so if I don't speak up when someone asks a question it's because I am contemplating it. By the time that they move on, I have an answer for the question but stay quiet because they have moved on.

23. I have a hard time not trusting people when I first meet them, so if I seem a little stand-offish it's because I have to be careful and feel out if I should trust them or not. I trust people too quickly, and that is both a good thing and a bad thing.

24. I love to read.

25. I remember the theme songs, and the names of the villains of the good cartoons from when I was growing up. Darkwing Duck, Tale Spin, Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers, the ones you ran home from school and were SO excited to watch. Remember TGIF? And Disney's Afternoon cartoons on regular TV?

I Hate money

I hate it with a passion. I have been putting off licensing for the state of California because of money. It costs almost as much as a car payment to get everything done, and my boss came to me tonight and said that she didn't know how much longer I can work with my spa until I get the licensing done. A lot of the people that work with the city are getting e-mails for our special on Valentines day, and since I don't have the license yet it is going to cause some problems. So what do you do?

You pound the pavement, looking for ANY opportunity to raise money so you can make the amount needed to get the stupid licensing done. It's going to be in total about 215 dollars. On top of this, she also said that she wants to bring me on FULL TIME. I am only working ON CALL right now, so that would be a HUGE improvement. I can't let that go. So I have to do anything to get some money.

Please pray for me. I have one client confirmed for tomorrow, so that helps. Just pray for me. VERY hard. Please pray for me.

Epiphany

I was driving home from Volleyball last night, listening to my music and a song came on that I totally understood how she felt when she wrote it. She is screaming to be heard, wanting someone to hold her. She's tired of being alone, and she's tired of not having someone in her life, so she is crying out for someone to come and rescue her from being single.

I have been in that place. I have been where I have been screaming inside for someone to rescue me from being single. I have been where I feel like just another face in the crowd. I have been where it seems like I am just begging for someone to be there, and feeling like no one is.

And that's when I realized JUST how grateful I am for this gospel. It doesn't matter how alone I feel, or how loudly I feel like I am screaming. I am NEVER alone in the crowd. I am never someone who has nobody there. While I physically am not able to get a hug from Heavenly Father, I can feel his love for me. I know that he is there for me. I also know that my family is there for me, and I love that.

I never have to worry about not having someone in my life. I have had moments where I was so physically alone that I was crying in my apartment. I asked Heavenly Father to help me, and the tears stopped, and I felt peace and love. I have had it happen so many times where I felt protected and loved that I wonder how people are able to go through their lives without knowing that the Lord is personally aware of what we go through, and loves us. He protects us when he can. He is happy for us, and sad when we hurt.

When we make decisions, he allows us the consequences. Good or bad, we have to accept the consequences for what we did, and that never changes. To have this knowledge made me very blessed, and very grateful.

I love the Gospel, I am grateful to be a member of the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and hope that I am able to share that love with other people.

While I may understand where the artist was when she wrote her song, I couldn't help but feel sad for her and her lonliness. The Lord is out there, he is waiting for us to come to him. He has his hands out, waiting for us to take them. I am grateful for the opportunity to not have that sorrow in my life, and am anxiously awaiting the time where I have a true love of my own.